Poop on a stick
Posted by SpIkE on 03/03/05 12:00am.

Do you often find yourself bored? Do you spend countless hours on the internet going to the same five pages, looking at the same old stuff? Do you go to discussion boards every 10 minutes only to find no one is posting? Well it happens to us all. In this time of boredom, you may become sad, or even depressed! Yes folks, the terrible depression may come over you and you may feel like jumping in the bath with a toaster.


After pain staking research, and hours of field tests, we have compiled a list of ways to keep your lame ass from staring into the toilet waiting for Santa Claus to come!

Choose from this list created by our certified experts:

- Scream really freakin' loud
- Count the oxygen bubbles in your fish tank
- Run for governor
- Do an all out impression of an epileptic seizure
- Paint a stranger's house purple
- Fold sox
- Throw things at your siblings (siblings not included)
- Look up sexual words or phrases in the dictionary
- Go to Texas to attend the 2nd Annual JFK Memorial Hotdog Eating Contest on the Grassy Knoll
- Climb on the highest point in your house jump off and say "I can fly"
- Go outside and count trees
- Go out to the road, take black paint and make passing zones on corners
- Watch the god channel
- Travel to Canada for breakfast at IHOP
- Read a kid's book backwards
- Experiment with cooking pizzas that need to go in an oven in a microwave
- See how far you can climb up a tree before falling
- Go to the local school campus and see how many people you can freak out by dancing when there is no music playing
- Make a website devoted to me!
- Something about robots
- Spray paint a trench coat green, wear a white hat backwards, and pretend to be Silent Bob. Only talk in mimes
- Draw a picture of fruit and send it to your whole buddy list
- Attend a Motley Crue concert wearing a t-shirt that says "Vince Neil is a fag!"
- Clip your toenails
- Get crabs then shave half of your testicles and light the half that still has hair on fire then try to pick off the fleeing crabs with a dart gun as they run from the inferno

Plus much, much more!

For a complete list, just call the number below, and we'll have it shipped to you for five dollars or a box of crackers!


If you REALLY want to get a laugh? Just prank that me...good times for all.

If you record a prank call and send it'll win a free FV t-shirt!!

Send entries to

StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble this article.

Riev_Mordred @ 03/03/05
"I'm a fan of all the ones I mentioned."

irisangelapearl @ 03/03/05

youngnhopeless @ 03/03/05
"IHOP is in washington DC too! :-D"

cherrybomb @ 03/03/05
"hee hee"

FredFredrickson @ 03/03/05
"there's an ihop in mass"

Riev_Mordred @ 03/03/05
"There is NO IHOP close by. Its like over an hour drive to it in Reno, NEAR THE HORRID EL DORADO. Everyone should dance like theres no music playing."

chronic_groupie @ 03/03/05
"i love IHOP "

Wobert @ 03/03/05
"Heck, I "dance like there's no music playing" even when there IS music playing..."

Riev_Mordred @ 03/03/05
"Oh Wobert, you can't dance. Phil Collins style."

CapitanRecicle @ 03/03/05
"I'm doing it!"

CapitanRecicle @ 03/03/05
"Specifically which "it," I'm not sure of..."

chronic_groupie @ 03/09/05
"pranking the diner probably would be good for a laugh"

Kallie @ 03/10/05
"I lost 50 bucks at that IHop."

chronic_groupie @ 03/10/05
"how do you lose 50 bucks at IHOP?"

SpIkE @ 03/11/05
"she bet they wouldn't have pancakes."

Login to comment...

Return to main...

Fake grapes


"I write stuff, you read it."

Andy shares with us a bunch of crap he found online.

Search This Column

Home | Columns | Pics | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer / Terms of Use | Gripe
Everything Else ©2017 All Rights Reserved.

website tracker