After the last few strongly politically and socially based topics I have written about lately, I thought I should bring back some good old fashion Freddyville gibberish. I actually wrote this piece as an essay in one of my classes to see what the teacher would do. We were supposed to be comparing some historical events or something; instead I just put down this crap. I managed to pull off a C+ for the essay. Not really sure how that happened. Well, here it is!
Peanuts versus Cheese
Peanuts versus cheese; The epic controversy that has raged for decades in Southern Saudi Arabia still causes riots and fighting today. Hashmier says he likes cheese, but he is also a big fan of the vitamins and minerals he gets from peanuts. Here, I will try to explain the pros and cons of each of these great foods.
The favorite of many people far and wide, cheese makes your bones straight. It also “makes you see good.” But in order to get these benefits, you have to eat something like fourteen hundred gallons per day. That is a lot of cheese. Probably more than anyone really wants to consume. In fact, I’m assuming that amount of cheese would make one’s legs swivel about. But with great benefits comes great sacrifice.
Peanuts have been the long time underdog in this argument, but have been making a big come back among the people. One might even call it a revolution. They make you strong, but you run a high risk of the elephant stealing them while you are on the “poop-pot.” The benefits of peanuts seem to out weight those of cheese. Peanuts make you strong enough to do 200 push-ups, they are a good snack, and you can get the girls with the really good butts. Some would consider that more valuable than any good eyesight or straight bones.
Cheese seems to be something to help people who have bone related health problems. Here is a great example; Bobby McPrescott was made fun of until he ate cheese. It made his bones straight and now he can see things that are a mile away because it “makes you see good.” Cheese or peanuts? There is no solid answer, but both food items are promoted by Hashmier, and in reality, that is all I care.
If you are unfamiliar with Group X I just wasted five minutes of your life. Guess what? You can’t get it back. I own them now.
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Peanuts versus Cheese
