I want to apologize for the lack of updates lately, I haven't been motivated lately. It's not neglect, I did update things on Freddyville. I just couldn't think of anything to write. I was originally going to write about the movie "Elf" which I just saw and loved. But I decided against it.Then I was gonna write about the loop holes in the theories behind time travel, but then I bumped my head and forgot everything. So today, I talk about girls.
It's one of those problems that most guys encounter, they just can't find the right girl. They date a few girls, check out all the chicks at the mall, and envy every guy they see who is happily being whipped by his beautiful female master. It seems like fun from the outside, doesn't it?
For those of us past the fear that all girls are out of our league, there comes the next problem. There just isn't the right girl out there. There are a few cute ones, and a few smart ones. A few clever ones, and few missing teeth. But there aren't any that are just perfect, or so it seems. Maybe the right girl exists, but she just happens to be living in China right now. Or she's next door having sex with some guy. Either way, it's not looking too good for you, is it?
Fear not, I have a backup plan. Robots. Yes, that's right, robots. Soon to be the bane of our existance. But for now, they're just hot steel and aluminum alloy love machines ready for action. This is my plan: I will build and manufacture robots (like the one pictured above) to be the perfect partner for anyone. They'll do everything a normal girl does, plus, she'll clean, make dinner, and go to work for you. As an added bonus, you can get her personality customized, so if you like it kinky, she'll be right behind you with the leather whip and chain saw. The best part of these lovable Johnny fives is that you can take them out in public, and other guys will be jealous because you've got a soul mate, and they don't. You'll just see the look on their faces and laugh about it while she cleans your shoes for you.
Now I know what you're thinking. Of course a robot described above will be fun to have around, but let's face it, you can't really fall in love with a robot. You want a family. Robots can't have babies! Of course not. So how does this really help us in the long run? Well, I'll tell you. This will raise the bar for girls world wide. Suddenly, girls are gonna have to start doing something for a change. The dumb ones will have to get smart... The lazy ones will have to work.. And the ugly ones will probably stay ugly. But the point is, girls will finally be able to fit our standards. Not just that girl in china. Not just the girl next door having fun with not you! EVERY SINGLE GIRL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL FIT YOUR STANDARDS! You'll have the biggest selection ever! You win! Now we just gotta figure out how to make these damn robots...
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JCOOD @ 11/15/03
"Dude... women already have machines of their own. They really don't need US!"
flushmaster2000 @ 11/15/03
"dude, stop talking about vibrators."
Almeida @ 11/15/03
"I'm thoroughly disappointed that the link labeled "bane" did not link a picture of the character Bane in Matrices II and III. This would have had an immensely greater word-play value, and would ultimately have made me enjoy the second half of the post. "
FreakBurrito @ 11/15/03
"I prefer the real thing, More benefits."
Jessie @ 11/15/03
"Why don't you guys just stop being lazy about "finding the right one", because there not going to end up on your door step. Get off you lazy ass and look for the righ one. date as much girls as possable and soon you will "find" the "ONE"!!! then you will WIN, and life will be good..... or something?"
gregor @ 11/16/03
"that girl is hot"
FredFredrickson @ 11/16/03
"she's a robot, and she's yours for $100.. as soon as i figure out how to make her."
flushmaster2000 @ 11/16/03
""the one" huh? God how bad is it that we can't even discus dating without a matrix referance?"
Wobert @ 11/16/03
"I think the concept of finding "the one" was around WAAAAY before the Matrix. The issue is not that we are incapable of discussing dating without referring to The Matrix, it's that you can't help but think of it."
janedoe @ 11/16/03
"Hey, and for the girls, how about a male robot that is sensitive, actively listens, and doesn't mind seeing a movie with a bodycount lower than 2?"
FredFredrickson @ 11/17/03
"Who needs a robot? That's a perfect description of ME! :-D"
janedoe @ 11/17/03
"or you're just trying to pick up girls...
Dan @ 11/18/03
"wierd, you just described me..just there is so much more to list ofcourse"
selle @ 11/22/03
"i am the perfect woman. im 19, smart pretty, single, i like bloody movies and am not really into chick flicks. now aboutthese male robots........"
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