Ok, so here’s my little story, gather round and I’ll tell it…and if you’re good, I’ll refrain from beating you. On Wednesday evening Robbie, Kallie, Chris and I all decided to go out for some delectable half-priced treats from the Restaurant with an apple on it. I think you all know what one I’m talking about it. Well, as we all got out of our vehicles, we notice something RATHER funny. What was it?

I’ll tell you down here in this paragraph. It was a Hummer 2, or an “H2” as they are known on the streets. Well, the driver of this modern marvel of junk decided instead of driving out through the parking lot and going through the lights, he would drive OVER the snow bank directly to the road. One LITTLE problem; he’s driving an H2, not a AM General Hummer. So he got stuck. Pretty badly too.

Like so many other H2 owners, he thought he bought a military grade vehicle with modern styling. But there are huge differences between the original Hummer and the H2. The Hummer was tested and designed for extreme uses and was engineered with that in mind. The H2 was made for city slickers who want a huge presence on the road and have no concern for the environment or wasting money. I’ve always hated SUV’s, but these ones really boil my buttons.

So this guy is stuck in a snow bank in a vehicle that is supposed to be able to go through tough terrain. This guy must have felt as stupid as a bag of hair sitting in his $50,000 lump of STUCK.

To give the H2 a little bit of credit, it’s drivers was pretty much as dumb as a monkey for trying that little stunt, I’m not really saying the vehicle is a complete waste, but the mentality of the people who drive these things is what I am poking fun at. Just because you got the biggest, baddest and most over-priced piece of junk, doesn’t mean it will stand up to military, or off road standards.

I was almost able to get a picture…but alas, he did get out after struggling for a minute or two to get out. So I guess the H2 isn’t as bad as it could be, but what was this guy thinking? Had a cop stumbled across this guy, they would be like….”Are you drunk….have you been snorting pixie sticks??”

Blah. Hey, speaking of overpriced junk, I hope everyone gets what they want for Christmas. But remember, if you don’t…at least you have loved ones and pie.

What? No pie?

Screw that, I’m not visiting your house for Christmas.

Stumble this article.

ThatSam @ 12/22/05 "they have a hummer 3 too now" Dan @ 12/22/05 "my bronco could beat any H2's ass any day. Why? Cause I said so." chronic_groupie @ 12/22/05 "yay. andy posted a column! i wish you had gotten a picture" Kirky @ 12/26/05 "I like the donuts at the RAB. I'm assuming that's where you went. Megan makes fun of the waiters there. It's not nice." SpIkE @ 12/27/05 "hahahah, I wasn't refering to the red apple actually, I was refering to applebees...heheh, didn't think of that." SpIkE @ 12/29/05 "BTW, the sweet, sweet donuts ARE amazing." mizzsimone @ 01/08/06 "bahaha, you stole the snorting of pixie sticks from me.. haha i love daring kids at work to snort a pixie stick like a line of crack.. bahaha" mizzsimone @ 01/08/06 "bahaha, you stole the snorting of pixie sticks from me.. haha i love daring kids at work to snort a pixie stick like a line of crack.. bahaha" Login to comment...

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