Over the past few weeks I have realized that a good majority of girls are either bisexual or “bi-curious.” What the hell is bi-curious anyways? If you are “curious” but will make out with a chick any time the opportunity arises, you have left the domain of curiosity, and have entered the world of being bisexual.

Bisexual?…I can’t imagine being bisexual. Can you imagine wanting to screw everyone you meet? Imagine all of the phone numbers you’d accumulate! I’m sorry; I definitely just stole some of George Carlin’s stand-up material right there. But I had to say it. I’m a bad bad boy. Anyways, I guess it’s just easy for chicks to do. Girls are hot. Guys are hairy. Ewwww. I don’t even like showering with myself. Dudes are gross.

You think I’m making generalizations though, don’t you? Two of my three previous girlfriends liked tacos as much as ye ol’ bat and balls. Also, at some of the past few parties I have been at, chicks were making out. Not just making out though…like...it became softcore porn. Furthermore, at work, THREE chicks decided to make out during one of my shifts. Chicks are always making out with each other. It’s science.

I can’t even get a damn girlfriend, and these chicks are getting action wherever they want. Sometimes I wish I were a chick, for the obvious reasons, but also because if I were a girl, other girls would want to make out with me and touch me. But as a guy, what do I get? I’m in the hunt for attention. I wear my hair in interesting ways, and do all the things to get the chicka’s attention, and I get NUFFIN!

Here is the other debate surrounding this subject. If a girl is in a relationship and she makes out with another guy, it is called cheating. But if a girl makes out with another girl, it’s freakin’ hot like wasabi. Why is this? Almost 100% of guys like girl on girl action, I know I do. However, when one of those girls is my girlfriend, I have mixed feelings. I guess I just have an old school method of thinking. Whatever. I’m getting off subject.

That brings me to my next paragraph. Most of us know a lot of girls do all this just to get a rise out of guys, in more ways than one I guess. It’s an easy way for them to get attention with very little effort. Heck, at those parties where chicks were making out, it became the hot topic for quite some time after.

To wrap up my little essay of doom, if chicks wanna make out with everyone so much and they have so much love to spread around, why aren’t they spreading it on me? No seriously, you chicks need to start making out with me.

I’m very aroused.

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