I kinda regret writing a couple weeks ago that winter has been weak this year, cause it definitely kicked my ass on Thursday. We got a good 10 inches of thick, packed snow and everyone had the day off from school. I slept pretty much the entire day, and after a few hours of being bored out of my tree at home, I decided I was going to go down to the video store and get the two Predator movies. I had never actually seen them all the way through.
Anyways, I headed out of my house onto Route 127, which just happens to be one of the windiest, up-and down roads in the state, it also happened to be poorly plowed. I made it onto Route 3, which was very well plowed and went to the video store and got the movies. I started heading back home, and I think I started to get a little cocky about the road conditions.
I got back onto Route 127 and about a mile onto it coming from Franklin, I headed down an S-curve hill. The tail of my car started to kick out. For some idiot reason I got on the brakes, making it worse. At that time, as the car started heading towards the shoulder of the road, I knew I had to get off the brakes, but for some reason, I couldn’t convince my foot to come off. So, the car ended up plowing into a snow bank then into a ditch. I say ditch, you probably just think I mean the side of the road. No, I mean a freakin’ DITCH. The thing had to be two feet deep.
Here is a simple math equation for you to solve. Don’t keep reading until you have solved it, otherwise you will be lost:
Car + Ditch = ?
Yeah, so I couldn’t get out of the ditch, hell, I couldn’t even open my driver’s side door at first, I had to slam against the door a few times with my shoulder to push the snow out of the path of the door. Once I got out I went to go look at the damage to my car, and I sunk into the ditch up to my knees in icy-cold water.
Not funny.
Some people from a nearby house came out and were trying to help me, but apparently no one with SUV’s thinks having a tow rope is a good idea. They let me use their phone and let me warm up a bit in their house. I called my brother to come and use his plow truck to pull me out and I called the police to alert them of the situation.
Three cops got there about 15 minutes later and were complete dicks to me. Like it was a conscious decision that I made to go into the ditch. Oh, but they got theirs when one of the cops went to go around the front of the car to see the damage and he sunk into the water like I had. He was like “F*ck, f*ck this…oh shit!”
Funny.
Anyways then my brother got there and they held up the one or two cars coming down the road as he hooked up to my car and with one swift pull, dragged my car out of the ditch. I later found out my brother was a bit nervous, cause at the time he was high on the ganja. What an idiot.
Well, to make a long, boring story short, I went home and spent some time putting humpty dumpty back together. Luckily, I am darn good body worker, and I was able to put her back together without a hitch. Not even a scratch on her!
Then I finally was able to sit down and watch my movies. I was watching them until about 3 in the morning, and it soooooooooo wasn’t worth it. Those were some of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. What a crappy night…
…but I still want to be a Predator.
Stumble this article.
irisangelapearl @ 02/12/05 "oh goodness, silly high brothers....what a bad idea."
SpIkE @ 02/12/05 "this column is freaking boring"
SpIkE @ 02/12/05 "...to read AND to write"
FreakBurrito @ 02/13/05 "I can write a column about getting stuck in a ditch."
SpIkE @ 02/13/05 "i'm low on ideas, shut it"
FredFredrickson @ 02/13/05 "'and I think I started to get a little cocky about the road conditions.'"
SpIkE @ 02/13/05 "that's what I wrote"
chronic_groupie @ 02/14/05 "Don't you wish you had walked like i told you to?"
InvisibleCola @ 02/14/05 "Red rhymes with Fred."
Vanguard @ 02/14/05 "This post makes me want to shit."
SpIkE @ 02/15/05 "it DID make me shit"
cherrybomb @ 02/16/05 "yea..... so your brother's a stoner?! hee hee!"
SpIkE @ 02/16/05 "only during the winter when he isnt working for the paving company he works for"
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