I started writing this column at Fred’s house, I got about 75% through it, I was pretty happy and I was just about to copy it and send it to my e-mail account. Then the unspeakable happened. I was threatened with a screwdriver, and in the epic struggle for my freedom and personal well being, I also reached to arm myself with a screwdriver. That was when it happened. I accidentally hit the escape key, and my defenseless column died. Right in my arms it died! But that isn’t going to stop me, I will resurrect it and once and for all it will be seen here on Fredrickville. I will not give up, it will not fade into the night, and once and for all it will declare its independence. Right…onto the treats.

About a month ago I decided my old Compaq was getting pretty out dated. It was riddled with problems and a virus or two, (too much pron I suppose.) So Fred and I went onto NewEgg.com and ordered and built me a new computer (well, it was more like he did all the work, and I watched and got screwdrivers and items of the like) well, long story short, I now have an ultra sexy pimptastic computer of hot steamy love…I like adjectives a lot. Now I have a computer that is at industry standard. Then it hit me: I could now devote my life to a cause I had given up: gaming.

I used to be a pretty hardcore gamer, but being the conscientious consumer I am, I realized that there was no way I was going to spend $300 every time a new gaming system came out. In fact, I stopped buying gaming systems at the original PlayStation, yeah old school PlayStation rocked, it’s undeniable. But a computer, on the other hand, can play the same games and will not need to be upgraded half as often as a gaming system would need to be. So that was where it began. My gaming revolution. Yes, I said it, revolution. The revolution against….well…not sure what against. Let’s just say a clan of monkeys flinging poo…you know, just as a working model.

I went to Wal-Mart and bought Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. I started playing, and it was like old times, capping whitey and taking names. As I got further into the game I had a hard time getting away from it. I just kept playing, and playing, and playing, and poopin’, and playing, and playing, and playing, and getting a sandwich, and playing, give me money, and playing. You get the point. I beat the game in less than two weeks. Now this was a full feature game. It should have taken me a lot longer than that. Nope, two weeks. It was then I realized I was addicted.

Is it normal to spend five hours in front of a computer playing a game? Is it normal to deprive myself of sleep and completely ignore the REAL world? Is it normal to consider blowing off social activities for a game? I say yes! Hell, who doesn’t want to exist in a world where when you screw up you get to try again, free of any embarrassment? Well, that is what I tell myself so I don’t feel like I have an unhealthy obsession. But indeed, I do.

I feel like a crack addict when I am telling my friends about these games. Like I am in a dark alley wearing a hoodie with shaky hands, saying, “Hey man, you gotta score some of this stuff. It will mess you all up, it’s real premium stuff.” As I sit hunched over my computer late at night I wonder, is there a difference?

So I finished the game, now there was this huge gap of free time in my day. Like a crack addict, I, too needed my next fix. So I went out and bought Need For Speed Underground. Looks like I am going to be hunched over my computer for a while longer. Is this unhealthy? Is crack unhealthy? I think you folks know the answer.

Oh yeah, little side note before I go play my game for the next few hours, I just picked up Green Day’s new CD, American Idiot, and holy pooper, I highly recommend this album, for anyone who likes music that doesn’t suck. It is some of the best stuff I have heard out of these guys yet. BUY IT!

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