My friends, family, and even enemies, this week was a week for glory. A week filled with danger, and promise. This was a week for justice, for revenge, and for deliciousness.Robbie
This past week, yours truly, and the mighty Spoon, set out to do the unthinkable. The unspeakable.
We trained. We focused. We sweat blood. We were going to break the fudge round eating record.
1. You have 20 minutes to eat as many fudge rounds as possible. (as was our lunch time limit when the original contests took place).
2. You can eat or drink anything else you'd like during that time, but it was a bad idea to do much of anything else...
3. The last fudge round to count must be swallowed fully before the time limit is up.
4. Anything that is not strictly prohibited in the above rules is expressly expected.
The current record before our venture was held by myself, actually:
17 Fudge rounds
Now, there are 8 in a box, so in order for either of us to break the record, we needed two full boxes, plus an additional two fudge rounds.
Preparing for success and glory, we entered our local walmart, and did not return until our hands were sufficiently full of fudge rounds, and a quart of milk each.
Spoon took the whole milk, while I, the veteran, took the skim. I knew the troubles that stood before us. I know the fear and anguish awaiting us just around the corner. It was a night neither of us would soon forget.
The stop watch was started, and instantly both of us filled our faces with the first delicious bites of the fudgey goodness. This would be the last time either of us referred to the fudgeness as "good" for the rest of the year.
The final count? As the clock struck the final moment, frantically we placed as many fudge rounds as possible in our mouths as quickly as we could.
Unfortunately, glory did not visit us that day. The final counts for both myself and spoon reached a lowly 13 or 14. Neither of us had broken the record.
The good news is that I still hold the record of 17 and nobody will ever touch that.
I am documenting this as proof, and so future generations may know how it's done
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