Just recently somebody mistook one of my posts as a direct attack on somebody close to him/her. Of course, my post being a very general complaint with something I believed to be a problem in our society, there wasn't a particular muse for my ramblings, so much as life experiences to inspire me. But none the less, the mistake was made - and the first reaction was to drunkenly call me and threaten to kick my ass.
At first I had no idea what this person was talking about, because hey- I didn't know this applied to anybody in particular, but guess again, I was apparently pretty accurate. Unfortunately, to date, I still don't even know which post it was so upsetting, but it does bring a small tear of joy to my eye to see that my posts are causing trouble out in the real world.
So officially, my livelihood has been threatened a few times now, all thanks to my desire to utilize my right to freedom of speech. (You know, that freedom that good men are over in Iraq dying to defend... cause those Iraqis keep stealing our freedom... Really, it makes sense.) And so I feel like I've been doing something very right.
But that's not actually the point of my post here. One problem with all the threats that I receive is this: They're all based on misinformation. That is, the people who have threatened me have not been informed and make a wrong assumption. Instead of attempting to get the story clear (i.e. Was that post about John, Jack, or Jane?) they instead assume that their redundantly unfounded assumptions are good enough to call somebody up, and threaten to take away yet another one of those freedoms that our good people are defending. My freedom to live. (or at least my freedom not to get beat up..? Check the constitution, it's in there.)
Ultimately, the total count of fights I've had to be in because of these assumptions? Zero. Mostly because these people sober up and lose steam. But also because I tend to stay away from them and forever label them "unstable."
But let's try to crawl into their minds quickly, and see just where the malfunction is...
What on earth could cause somebody to want to fight? Well I suppose if you can't think, fighting is your only answer. There's nothing like using fists to prove your point, since your argument is weak and overwhelmingly wrong. But the funny catch is, there are still laws, and unlike most people I know (read: all people I know) I enjoy to stir the juices. And I have no problem utilizing the law (to which my tax money goes to upholding) to protect my rights. And if that means I'll get the crap beaten out of me, nothing tastes more sweet than a cash settlement. And, yes, I have resources to quench my incredible law suit thirst.
So the bottom line is this: Guys who turn to fighting as a form of solving problems cannot think, and they make a bad name for guys all around. To the girls who hang out with these types, stop reinforcing bad behavior. Some guys use their brains, hold out for the thinkers. In the end you'll realize you're better off with a guy who will teach your future kids how to think and make money, and not how to get beat.
Also, the additional bottom line is, I'm still incredibly right, and sometimes it hurts to be this awesome, but hey- somebody's got to do it.
Also- quick tip for those who follow my style and choose not to fight: Try to surround yourself with people who will back you up. Most people won't try to fight you if you've got friends. (Because that's just crazy talk).
Stumble this article.
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FredFredrickson @ 08/13/07
"And yes, I understand this is ironic, because I'm talking very specifically about how general I am. This is an exception. Beat me up!" |
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Riev_Mordred @ 08/13/07
"Generally for me, Robbie, I would like to kick your ass, just to let off steam, but minor violence isn't allowed in this country. I don't want to kick your ass because I hate you, so much as to prove through an age old tradition that I am right and you are weak." |
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the_legacy @ 08/13/07
"American society is fucked. Boys are taught that it is not manly to talk things out. If a guy doesn’t fight then he’s a pussy... but it really is that he has the ability to think things through unlike most of America’s population. What ever happened to honesty? People are to chicken to say what’s on their mind so they just use their fists. It doesn’t solve anything. Oh boys…… (notice the word boy not man)" |
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Riev_Mordred @ 08/13/07
"Well, when you have people like Robbie, that fight everything you say, for the sake of arguing and not for the sake of education, a certain rage takes over eventually." |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/13/07
"You know as well as I do it comes from pent up sexual frustration." |
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Riev_Mordred @ 08/13/07
"Thats a possibility. If I can't have that ass, I might as well beat it." |
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bryanploof @ 08/13/07
"I was trashed and made some stupid comments. Jarred however calmed me down, and promised that I would behave because threatening somebody is assault and can be pursued legally. For my own protection I asked that this comment be changed so as not to incriminate myself and from now on I am sorry. Also - myself and my family has gotten over this and moved on. (yeah right)" |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/13/07
"In addition, a lot has changed in the past few months. I'm certainly not going to do a point by point, but you get the picture. it's time to move on people." |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/14/07
"And to corinne, sorry you had to witness this. Sometimes people just need a little help getting what they're trying to say out. Luckily I was here for him. ;)" |
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corinne @ 08/14/07
"Yeah, that was a tad bit on the "big retard" side of whoever that person was, but ohwell. I suppose you could not have produced a column named "guys who fight" and expect nothing rash to be said." |
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Riev_Mordred @ 08/14/07
"Regardless, back on topic, we need a moral kombat ring for people to get out their aggression" |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/14/07
"This was supposed to be antiviolent. Buuuuut none the less, if you want a fight, I usually attempt at beating andy every time I drink. Maybe you should consider joining. I always end up bruised or something." |
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Riev_Mordred @ 08/14/07
"Hmpf, well the next time I deign NH good enough to visit, we shall see." |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/14/07
"we should have a benefit fight and raise money for fredrickville...uh I mean starving children" |
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the_legacy @ 08/14/07
"HA ILL KICK ALL YOUR ASSES :oD" |
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Riev_Mordred @ 08/14/07
"If you're dating Robbie, that means you are hot. If you are hot, you are likely skinny. You would be crushed under the weight of Fat-mo-Tron" |
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the_legacy @ 08/14/07
"Ha Thats where your wrong! The smaller you are the easier it is for you to slip out of things. As long as I dont laugh... ill own you all" |
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Seth @ 08/15/07
"Guys fight because we've evolved to fight. The biggest baddest dude on the block gets the chicks, and therefore gets to evolve. He gets the chicks because he can kick the crap out of everyone who challenges him. We've been slow to adapt to this whole justice system thing.
Oh, and not ALL fighting is bad. Defending oneself from aggressive force is perfectly fine and even encouraged in my own little moral code (reference the more recent column).
Either way, way to be, Robbie, for refusing to stoop to others' levels and for using that brain of yours." |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/15/07
"Well that's only partially true, seth. Strong guys get the girl until the girl gets fed up with it. Then one day the girl realizes it's time to stop living her childhood dreams and come to reality. Then she marries a nerd like me who makes 300K." |
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bploof @ 08/17/07
"I still don't understand my rights. (or lack there of on Fredrickville)." |
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Kallie @ 08/17/07
"I continue to be unable to let go of the past. I fear I may never move on." |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/17/07
"Wow guys! That's very emotionally honest of you two to share. Seriosly though - move on." |
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FreakBurrito @ 08/17/07
"Robbie, you are seriously putting yourself in a poor position right now. Identity theft is a serious crime. I hope your ready for the repercussions." |
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SpIkE @ 08/17/07
"you must be joking..." |
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FreakBurrito @ 08/18/07
"Hahahaha! Funny beans. By the way Brian, your username is haxored" |
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ploofb @ 08/18/07
"I continue to prove my lack of life by visiting somebody else's website and leaving comments like "Let's wait for some paper work to clear" and "this site will be struggling to stay online." Teehee. I also continue to prove how much less I understand about the world than the maker of this site: FredFredrickson. As his knowlege of law far exceeds mine, I have to make up stuff about libel and identity theft, as if it even applied in this case. What I'm really doing is gearing up for winning the biggest douchbag of the year award." |
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SpIkE @ 08/19/07
"Brian Ploof, this is for you: You are pretty much wasting your time. You do not have any sort of legal footing in this case, and your "legal team" and "paper work" are nothing more than scare tactics and fabrications of your tiny little brain. You are on OUR web site, and anything you do here can and will be edited/censored as the webmaster and administrators see fit. Deformation of charater HAS NOT occured in any form here, and identity theaft does not apply is said situation. If you knew the first thing about law, you would realize this. Just because you took a civil law course in high school does not mean you have an understanding of law. Do us a favor and fuck off. Douche." |
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SpIkE @ 08/19/07
"Seriously, go comment on columns that matter. http://www.fredrickville.com/newdesign/newcolumns.php?board=9" |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/19/07
"I might just have to take FV down because of these threats..." |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/19/07
"Ok good. Commenting now scrolls you down here to the bottom, not to the middle. Don't know why that was happening." |
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FredFredrickson @ 08/20/07
"Hmm Why aren't we getting any more legal threats?" |
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SpIkE @ 08/20/07
"Hmmm I dunno...looks like some got out smarted. Better luck next time kid." |
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SpIkE @ 08/20/07
"someone...god damned typos." |
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GGagnon @ 01/05/08
"HAHA I am just reading this for the first time, what a fucking joke. This is the funniest shit I have seen in quite sometime. Do you even know the meaning of identity theft ploof? Ha even if I were to pose as you and slander the world that is strictly mocking and not a crime. Identity theft only becomes 'Identity Theft' when illegal use of personal documentation is used. LMFAO. People need to understand that instead of pretending they everything about something they truely know nothing about, they should shut up and learn so one day they really can say they know something other than how to stick their thumb up their own ass and then suck on it." |
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Guys who Fight
