I'm awesome
Posted by FredFredrickson on 06/08/06.

I just wanted to take a moment to let you all know just how awesome I am. I'll measure it in gold: 500 Zillion Majillion Dollars awesome.

Just today I was talking to a friend and he said to me, "Robbie, you freakin rock. I think that in this world we've got 3 classes of people: People who suck (Bin Laden), People who Rock (Martin Sheen), and WICKED AWESOME PEOPLE WHO DESERVE MUCH MONEY!" He then said that I am one of the only three people to hit the "WAPWDMM" group... along with Ghandi and the guy who invented bacon. You didn't know it but Ghandi was actually really groovy. He could do the worm, you have no idea. Oh, and also, my teeth are PUUUUREE GOLD!

But anyway, more about how awesome I am. I was definitely the first person to invent zubaz, and I wore them on a regular basis.. in a rotation with my Mets sweatsuit, I AM SO UNSTOPPABLE! UNPOPPABLE!

I can juggle, and I can totally run faster than you. I am way manlier than any of you. All the hot chicks want me, and all the guys wish they were me. In fact... I know of at least 6 billion people who want to be me. And as if that wasn't enough, I've saved the planet on more than one occasion! Aliens almost destroyed the earth until they realized I was here. Now they nurture the planet with sweet candy.

But seriously folks, let's get down to business. Everybody I know really does absolutely love me. It's funny, cause now you're wondering if you've got a similar effect on everyone you meet. Probably not, unless you're me. Oops, you're not. Too bad. Let me teach you how to strive to be kinda like me (you'll never even get close, though):

1. Always, always be awesome. I've been doing it for dos decades, and I'm doing fine.

2. Use other words that mean the same thing as what you're trying to say.. Notice I used the phrase "dos decades" in number 1? Yeah, that means 20, but it also means I DANCE ON YOUR MOM'S FACE AND LAUGH ABOUT IT FOR YEARS.

C. Never use the number three.

Now, just fyi, we got some cool shiznit coming your way this summer. My HDD's are replaced and Interviews with chris are in progress. We've also got more Nodose America. Also we'll be going to NY this JULY and I'm sure we're going to film crazy stuff.

Also, don't forget to flush.


By the way, some people will post contrary opinions in the comments of this post. They may say things negative about me. Just remember the story of the sour grapes. They'll diss me because they will never get to enjoy the awesomeness that I am. Unless I sneeze on them. Then they might be able to have a moment of joy. Maybe.

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Pinkstar @ 06/08/06
"Rob what part of NY are you going to? Back to Owego?"

FredFredrickson @ 06/09/06
"yessir, and ithica.. and possibly surrounding areas"

Pinkstar @ 06/09/06
"You make me wish I still lived in NY yo. I lived like 30 minutes from Ithaca, go to the commons, and have some fun."

Pinkstar @ 06/09/06
"Why are you going to NY anyways? Go to Hector, woooooooo"

FredFredrickson @ 06/09/06
"You know, go back, see my roots, have some actually decent buffalo wings and pizza, and show respect for the late king of trees."

Pinkstar @ 06/09/06
"Good deal, take pleanty of pictures of our area, I'm home sick I need to see tree's. If you go to Watkins Glen, head towards Mr. Chicken for some real good eatin'"

FredFredrickson @ 06/09/06
"will do"

FredFredrickson @ 06/15/06

sara @ 08/17/06
"yeah, YOU'RE SO AWESOME (at fixing computers!)"

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Who am I? That's a good question. I am the creator of Fredrickville.com, and the writer of the front page column. My actual name is Robbie, but for whatever reason I like Fred better. If you read my column, thanks. Feel free to leave a comment or two. Chances are, I've pissed you off anyway.

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