Morgan Freeman Denies Your Reality
The Outhouse
Posted by Applegoogle on 12/09/10 03:46pm.

Bing Bong, the Clown was a smash hit in a little backwards town in Texas. He worked every birthday party and was probably the third most important person in town to the mayor and fire chief, both of whom loved him to death. Suddenly, ninja dinosaurs and robot unicorns showed up and started destroying the town. It was unanimously agreed that only Bing Bong could stop the madness. With his AK-47 and personal stash of grenades, he took out 9 unicorns and a very surprised dinosaur.



Unfortunately, he didn't have enough ammo on him and he had to leave the scene quickly and retreated to his underground bunker, where his tank, stash of ammo (including rocket propelled grenades and swords), and his power ring were located. Getting into his tank, he took to the streets, quickly taking out multiple surprised ninja dinosaurs, but the unicorns proved to be a bit tougher for the tank. After a few hours, the unicorns started to overwhelm the tank's armor and that's when he activated his power ring. "Oh Power Ring of Wrath, give me power!" he shouted. Immediately, the entire block is blasted by an intense energy and all the surprised dinosaurs and unicorns in that block are incinerated. Bing Bong climbed out of his tank and wielding only an AK-47 and two swords, he began slaying the rest of the unicorns. Curiously the ninja dinosaurs couldn't be found at this point, which made sense to him but also made him worry.

His worries were justified when the largest 3 ninja dinosaurs were detected by his ninja detector: a brachiosaurus, a tyrannosaurus, and a stegasaurus. The rest were about the size of velociraptors or smaller, but these three were just as fast as them. The first one to challenge him (which was amazingly reminiscent of a Bruce Lee movie) was the tyrannosaurus. His martial arts were extremely well developed and he gave Bing Bong a great fight; however, Bing Bong's swordplay and was more than a match for him in the end and the tyrannosaurus was defeated.

The brachiosaurus was next to challenge him. Bing Bong knew his opponent would be tough, but he didn't anticipate him to break his sword after one swing from his tail. Bing Bong knew he had to pull a big gun out on him, so he shot him with the rocket propelled grenade and then shot at his head with the AK-47. That almost worked, but this dinosaur was much tougher than the tyrannosaurus. His body was writhing about and Bing Bong was in danger of being squashed. He knew he needed to end this now, so he shouted "Oh heavens, grant me the power to vanquish my enemies" and a brilliant white light shown down upon him. Bing Bong punched the brachiosaurus and the force of the hit was enough to kill it instantly.

The stegasaurus was quicker to fight though, and before Bing Bong turned to face it, the stegasaurus was already behind him with his tail following behind as if it were going to cut his throat, but Bing Bong's power level was just too high. Bing Bong caught the tail and began swinging the dinosaur around like a pair of nunchucks and threw him into outer space. The town rejoiced in Bing Bong's amazing display of heroics and the incident even made page 6 in the Dallas Times Herald and made it on the ticker on CNN.

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FredFredrickson @ 12/09/10
"Mmmmmm rocket propelled swords"


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I will regale your audience of about 12 with stories that I make up on the spot about random things. I need an outlet for my imagination.

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