Sairbles the Death Dealer was born without the capacity to care one bit about the feelings of anyone, anything, ever. She wandered the globe just dealing death to one after another, not caring who or what it was so long as it were killable. She doesn't look like a cosmic necessity that brings life to a close, but looks can deceive and if she had to run after everyone she was going to kill, she'd quit; and that, my friends, would be bad for the entire universe.
So, Sairbles the Death Dealer was roaming around looking for her latest victim. Suddenly, she spotted him. It was Nick, the Sweet Talking Podiatrist. She approached him and was gonna slay him, but his sweet talking did something to her. Something she couldn't understand. She started feeling a fuzzy feeling in the spot where here heart was supposed to be even though, legend has it, she had no heart. Then he kissed her and all of a sudden, her heart exploded with an intense feeling that can only be described as puppies and kittens, double rainbows, and psychedelics all mixed with world peace and chocolate.
When she's not killing, she now goes by Sairbear the Death Dealer on Pause. However, sometimes she just needs to shed blood and keep the cosmic balance of death and life, so she also still goes by Sairbles the Death Dealer.
Stumble this article.
Return to main...