*Written by Lambic, originally posted on Poop on a stick by SpIkE

"Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids!” If you don’t know that saying, then I fear the worst for you. It’s the famous catch phrase from “Trix” cereal. Remember when you were a kid, that’s one of the things you loved about cereal? You loved that they were dangerous in a way. I know that I always feared a 6 foot tall Rabbit breaking in the window dressed as a janitor and trying to steal my bowl of morning delight.

Does anyone realize that he STOLE the Trix? Just freakin’ TOOK them like he owned the rights or something! An outrage I say!

What’s worse is that these days, even if the rabbit legitimately earns his morning num nums, the kids will steal his cereal! I know revenge is a dish best served cold, but does anyone think that the Rabbit could have changed his ways and deserves a but more credit? It’s racism I say….racism.

I think that it could be deeper then that (like you ever thought that was possible). I think that the mere sight of the Rabbit, freely enjoying his legitimate Trix, drove the children insane. They wanted him to pay for everything he had done, they wanted him to feel the pain of fear, suspicion, and above all, hunger.

Yet, beyond the world of Trix, there are other injustices happening around the Cereal world…

After his pushing of the notorious “Cocoa Puffs”, Sonny found himself addicted and desperate. It is quite obvious that he is unable to break his addiction, for even the slightest hint of the dangerous corn based puff sends him into a frantic rage.

Tony the Tiger, strong supporter of “Frosted Flakes”, is an avid physical fitness enthusiast. But what you don’t know about Tony is that without his steroid injections, his breasts would sag to the ground. But for now, he looks “Grrrreeeeaaaaaaattt!”

Then there is the case of the “Cookie Crisp” bandits. They were once a duo of the criminal type. Word on the street is that after a cookie heist of some great number, they had a bit of a “falling out.” Now only one of the bandits is still seen, the one named Chip (most likely a gang name), going from cookie to cookie to remain “cool”.

But what is done to prevent this? Could anything have been done to save these poor souls from a life of crime and addiction? And what is next for Cereals if this is their predecessors? I fear the morning, for my bowl holds pain and suffering.

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