Live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I dare you! If I wasn't insane before, I definatly am now. Any rock, and disconnect place in the world will do the same, leave you disconnected that is.

On a small island, you have 3 options on how to live.

1. Get a job, get a place to live, and get a life.

In this example of island life, you are not straying far from what you were most likely doing before you came to the rock. You are now in a much prettier place (maybe). Since it's a rock, prices are higher though (it's a rock, limited supplies).

If you have to pay more, you have to work more, especially if you still want to live indoors. With working more, you are having less fun. A feeling of hatred might occur do to the constant beauty that surrounds you, for you are not out enjoying it. Soon, the beautiful days are just reminders of how you hate your life, and the rest of the world is living it up.

2. Don't work and live outdoors.

Since you are on a rock, but not just a rock, a tropical rock, you have the option of sleeping outside. The nights are typically warm, and the rain is like a shower, which is good because you most likely need one, all the time. The ground is soft, and easy to clear to sleep, which is also good, so you can see the centipeeds comming for you.

Though the following are things more likely to happen to you if you sleep outside: introduced to Meth, staff infections, poisoned by insects, poisoned by infections, poisoned by bad food, poisoned by bad drugs, poisoned by black mold, poisoned by STDs, getting beaten up by locals, getting robbed by locals, getting hit by cars, starving, getting killed, smelling badly.

But look at the good side, you don't have a job, so you can work on those issues all the time, (you most likely will have to) and you can rest assured that when you wake up, you will be awake (maybe).

3. Loose yourself and Find youself.

Now, I'm sure that would be the most appealing, but let me just remind everyone what it's like to be lost.

When your lost, you can't escape. You are forced to stay where you are and eat shit, constantly, and forever, until, you find youserlf. You are alone, you are sad, you are depressed, you are sleepless, you are constantly questioning everyone and everthing, and you hate more then you love.

Though, the reward of finding yourself is great. In truth, it may be the only accomplishment you ever have in your life, which is good because before this you were nothing. Now you are nothing, but with a sense of what it is to be nothing. Now you can leave, now you can move off the rock, now you can start a new... just like you did when you came here in the first place.

It's depressing. Once you get off the rock you will feel better about life, since you can finnally see again how big the world is.

I personally took a combo. of #1 and #3, and am now ready to leave.

And again, sorry that I don't post enough, and there are no pics, limited resorces.

StumbleUpon Toolbar Posted on October 18th, 2007 | Comments [3]

Didn't come down

In two days it will be that time of year again. The time of year where we all get pride swelling in our gizzards, and wear red to symbolize the millions of innocent that America killed in its name... for Freedom!

It is the 4th of July, and boy howdy is it gonna be sweet.

If you find yourself in Laconia, which I'm just atleast one person reading this will, you will be enjoying the many annual customs that Laconians partake in.

This includes 4 major things:

1. Getting the ugliest sweatshirt ready in advance. You want everyone there to see the mac&cheese stained Mickey Mouse sweater that you have had since 1987. This shows everyone that you are dedicated, much like America itself.

2. Pump you and your children up with as much sugar and hotdogs as possible. Everyone loves sugar, and fat, and low self-esteem, and your kids will listen to you better if you shove fried foods and cotten candy in their little porker faces.

3. Sit down and rest your fat ass for a good 4 hours before any signs of dark skies. It is important, as an American, to claim your seat on the grass, along with your entire living room. Being there extra early only proves to others how much you care about taking up as much space as possible, like America. But don't you dare let anyone close to your 5 hour campsite, if anyone gets close, stare at them until they leave. Domination is another large part of being an American.

4. When the skies are lit up by fireworks, remember to verbally annouce your opion of each individual firework. A loud, "Honey, that one looks just like a flower!" is a good way to let others know you are really paying attention. But remember, if you say all of them are flowers, people might start to copy you, and you don't want to be a follower, only a leader. Don't forget the, "Oh, that one was REALLY loud!". Some may forget that there are explosives going off, in the sky, where everyone is looking, at a consistant rate, so talk as much as you want, you're a goddamn American!

So that's it, follow those plans and you will ensure yourself a place in America's history by being a true American.

But for those of you who don't want to follow tradition (you bastards), here is an alternative 4 step process for you 4th.

1. Make special brownies

2. Eat special brownies (as seen in step one)

3. Watch the fireworks

4. Go home and make love to your significant other


StumbleUpon Toolbar Posted on July 2nd, 2007 | Comments


I haven't slept in a while. Not by choice mind you, but by work. My night is spent awake watching a front desk, while my morning (an hour and a half later) is spent selling retail. I felt as though you should know this, for it explains why this isn't the best of topics for such a fine Saturday morning. Plus, I fight bears all night.

So here at the Crawford Notch Depot, I listen to a lot of VPR (Vermont Public Radio). I listen so much, it was only right to become a member. So as I was saying, I was listening to VPR and caught the last few moments of a segment talking about Chris Benoit, WWE Wrestler, now murderer, and suicide superstar.

Now before you start asking the computer screen, "Keil, I thought you didn't write for FV anymore?" What are you talking about! Didn't you just read the dramatic news that I just wrote? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!

If you would like to read the story of the tradgic event, which it is, here is a link!.....

*I couldn't do it, so I'll post the link downstairs!*

Now I posted the Wiki link, but for the fact that it says, and I quote, "News of Nancy Benoit's death was inexplicably posted on Wikipedia 14 hours before the police discovered the bodies."

That last part is a little scary to me. WTF? How does it know? HOW DOES IT KNOW!?!

So this isn't even what I wanted to talk about. I hate wrestling, and even more then wrestling, I hate the media.

So why did I just tell you all this when I don't even want to talk about it? Well friends and zombies, I'll tell you, I'll tell you so hard it'll hurt.

What Chris Benoit did was at first saw as a tragedy, which it is, which I've already said. The moment that it came clear that Benoit himself had committed the murders, and offed himself, there was a silence of all that had just happened.

Things like this have always happened, and they will always happen. It's a sad truth to what the media and people with money can do. People ignore the fact that with all the killing in the world, there is still killing everywhere eles in the world. Killing, killing, killing, killing, killing, killing, ect.... throughout time.

This stuff is morbid. I'm sorry.

Next time I'll write something better, but I'm vommitting locusts at the moment, and I can't stand (sitting actually) for this.

I really am sorry.

*here's that damn link

maybe my friends will help me make that into a real link.

StumbleUpon Toolbar Posted on June 30th, 2007 | Comments

Insanity Survial Guide

Picture? Naw.

Through years of research, Keil has compliled his data and manifested this Column

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