Please Remit
Spoons Editorial
Posted by Spoonman on 06/25/07 01:09am.

Ok, here's what I'm saying. I was in rare form last night, which doesn't happen often, so either it's the diet, the freedom, or just a lapse in propriety. Hard to tell. What the hell is he talking about? What the hell am I ever talking about. Honestly.

So, to grant you some respite from the de rigeur style of content on here that consists of 3 words and a video, I'm going to narrate a little story and then you're going to help me out. That means reading, comprehension, and participation. You like that, you say.

Flash back to 1999. Or 1998. Doesn't matter. I'm in 7th grade English class - or "Language Arts" I think they called it. Year 2000 is looming on the horizon so everyone is thinking about the future. My teacher, Ms. Amanda Thompson, says we're to write letters to ourselves that will be opened in the future. Like, ask our future selves questions, and write a little about what our lives were like back in Middle School so when we open them as young adults we can get all nostalgic.

This is how it went down: I wrote myself a letter (and since I don't adhere to a strong formulation of inter-temporal personal identity, the referent of "myself" in the previous sentence is identical with the typist right now - sorry, bad philosophical tangent) I write myself a letter, and it's a good letter - oh yes it is. Not only do I write lots of content, but I also draw symbols in the margin that have special meaning to me and have statements and questions encoded in them (because I figured Ms. Thompson would read them all, and I needed to ask some personal stuff.)

Finished with my letter, I hand it in and ask Ms. Thompson,

"So how are we going to get them back - and when?"

Her: "I'll mail them to you when you turn 21"
Me: "Really?"
Her: "Yes"
Me: "Are you just saying that? I'd really like this back. I know I'll be curious about it."
Her: "Oh certainly. I really intend to mail them back. Don't worry."
Me: "How will you get our addresses?"
Her: "Don't worry, I'll figure it out."

Sounds pretty authoritative, right? I am nearly 90% sure that the return date was when we turned 21, but there is an ever so slim chance I could be wrong. In any case, I haven't gotten my letter back yet. Now, I'm tempted to imagine that she probably tossed them out in the trash at the end of that unit of study, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Especially Ms. Thompson. She had the misfortune of replacing seasoned Mr. Jones back in 6th grade. She was probably only 23 or 24 and recently graduated from Plymouth State. I had approximately as much tact back then as some of my readers do right now, and I thought I was hot stuff (I was and still am - "thought" does not imply a concession to the contrary) and I think I made her teaching experience a little rough. But then again, she flubbed all kinds of pronunciations, and obvi I'm a stickler for that. Yes, obvi.

So, back in whenever when I turned 21, I got to thinking about this letter. I've actually thought about it from time to time over the years, but again, giving my teacher the benefit of the doubt I decided to wait and not keep pestering her about it. "Do you still have the letters?" I waited patiently for...what has it been? Eight years? And here I am, and I'm pretty sure I want that letter back. A lot. I want it as soon as possible. Or, if the date we were supposed to receive them was at our college graduation or something, at least check that she still has them. I think it's warranted. That letter has personal value for me, hidden messages, and important data. I need it.

I was going to call her on my birthday and ask if the check was in the mail, so to speak, but I couldn't find her contact info. Here's your assignment:


[Birth name:] Amanda Thompson (may have gotten married)

[Education:] B.A. from Plymouth State no earlier than probably 94 or 95. No later than 97.

[Age:] Approx 32 years.

[Hobbies:] Cross country running. Once ran a mile in 5:40. Yes that is exact. Yes, my memory is good.

[Tenure at WRMS:] Between 97 and 2001, perhaps. She is gone now.

So, you guys are going to do whatever it takes to get her current, updated contact info and relay it to me. I need to know if that letter still exists and when I can get my pizza and chocolate stained fingers on it. Вы понимаете? Ok. Go.

Fred was in this class with me and sat behind me. We used to talk about programming and draw pictures of Cheese and Double Stars. Fred, if you remember this letter writing assignment, join the bandwagon. Let's Jam.

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Spoonman @ 06/25/07
"$ref&se=$se&doby=&city=&name_style=1 Bottom 4. "K" As late as 06?"

FredFredrickson @ 06/25/07
"if your age est is even remotely correct, she's not on facebook."

FredFredrickson @ 06/25/07
"OK, I'm pretty sure she got married and her last name is Allen now."

FredFredrickson @ 06/25/07
"Maybe she got married or not, she was supposed to. I contacted the school, and was directed to the central office, where I was alerted that the letters were not sent out on your 21st bday, but instead in 10 years. We did those letters in 1998, and should be expecting them 10 years later, which brings us to 2008. That's what they told me."

FredFredrickson @ 06/25/07
"As a side note, nobody knows where amanda went. I'm sad that I've moved, because I don't know how I'll get mine. :("

FredFredrickson @ 06/25/07
"So WE HAVE TO FIND HER so that we can give her my new address. My guess is that she will not track me down."

Spoonman @ 06/25/07

SpIkE @ 06/25/07
"thanks for the low blow frankie ;)"

FredFredrickson @ 06/25/07
""to find her" sounds good. We'll just keep driving until we run her over. Good plan."

FredFredrickson @ 06/25/07
"Update: Some people from our class have already confirmed receiving the letters. 0.o"

Riev_Mordred @ 06/25/07
"Wish I could help, but I was in Stupid-LA, I don't remember having Thompson, I had Berry, I think."

Spoonman @ 06/25/07
"Who has their letters already? I haven't moved. I should have mine."

meanderer @ 07/19/07
"yeah, I just recieved mine from, after i graduated from college so maybe next year..this is Kristin btw"

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