We've got a have a new and serious Enemy of the State on our hands. He is Tom Daschle (new Majority Leader, Democrat, South Dakota). Previous reports from this office writing Daschle off as a 'Fargo-type Idiot, a real Mayor of Simpleton..not to be worried about..' need to be discarded.
Sources are now confirming that Daschle can "turn anyone into a Democrat" just by looking at him for more than nine seconds with his piercing eyes. We now believe that the defection of Senator Jeffords was due to this 'Medusa Treatment.'
Apparently, Daschle strikes in the Senate cafeteria. Aside form the Jeffords Incident. We have confirmation from Gordon Smith (R-Oregon)
Recently Daschle asked Senator Smith innocently to check if he had something on his face. Smith is a good conservative (one of our boys) and didn't fall for it. But Daschle pushed the issue, apparently saying. "Really Gordon, I was just eating an egg salad sandwich. Can you just check if there's something on my face?"
Smith looked and was quickly locked in Daschle's gaze. He reported experiencing a hallucinogenic effect...
...Daschle apparently ran into Jesse Helms. Although his powers weren't strong enough to turn the ancient conservative into a Democrat, he was able to get him to agree to "consider" some points on patient rights legislation. Later Helms went to a U2 concert and hung out with Bono.
The key is, you've got to not look at him directly. Daschle looks friendly enough, kind of like the produce guy at your local supermarket. But one glare and you'll start to crumble.... The effects are sudden and terrible. You will first feel a warm flash. Then you won't want to cut taxes anymore...You'll want to fund programs... you'll start talking to unions.
Fortunately, TNT was re-running that movie Clash of the Titans last night. There's a scene where Perseus had the Medusa look at the mirror and then she crumbles. We must do the same. Senators are advised to get a mirror, or anything shiny. Like the silver coffee tray in the cafeteria. We believe if Daschle looks at his own glare in the mirror, he will melt within five to ten seconds.
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Believe me, I read this and laugh. Nothing like some politics to "angry up the blood."
Karl Rove is President of the United States.
Stumble this article.
FredFredrickson @ 05/07/03
"Don't be silly, I think Bush already won."
Spoonman @ 05/07/03
"Though you a re correct, I think you missed the point. Karl Rove does not run for president; he merely owns Bush, and dictates the mans every move."
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mynameisjonas @ 09/26/07
"also in clash of the titans the blood of medusa also caused overly large deadly scorpions to form and even the severed head of medusa was still able to defeat the kraken " |
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