Alright; amidst the confines of my sleep deprived, self loathing stupor it hit me: We are reentering the 1960s.

The 1960s were basically a cultural dark ages for this country. People lost the ability to grasp the difference between good and bad art (trust me, it exists), and consequently, culture spiraled out of control. People's hair and fashion styles became ugly and misguided, and social sentiments of egalitarianism, communism, and the "hippie" mentality gave the lie to levels of ego-gluttony that have been as of yet unsurpassed. Music was whiny and "folk inspired," parading under the name of rock and roll. Losers gained celebrity status. Language and social attitudes tried so hard to be nonconformist that they ultimately coagulated into a new form of conformity. Fortunately, the 80s and 90s saw culture rescued by electronic music, elements of humor, and cynicism - but it was not to be for long - I assert that we are returning to the sorry state of affairs that was the hippie era.

Think about it: the ingredients are all here. Mass political polarization, an unpopular quagmire of a war, and shitty music. Is that the first time I've ever cursed outright on the editorial? Damn straight, but I've always said I save it for when it's needed - and it's needed.

Think about it: Since the mid 90s, music has been going way downhill. I just want to clear up a few things:

The "Emo" trend was dumb, but at least it was laughable. So called "Indie" music has slid into the void Emo left and styled itself as the new pop, the problem being, people think it's cool. First of all, "pop" is shortened from "popular", so it's antithetical to the entire Indie movement to be describable as a form of pop - and yet increasing numbmers bands are labeling themselves this way. Second of all music is becoming universally characterized by acoustic instruments, pretentious, faux-deep lyrics, obscurantism, and inability to be danced to. I will rattle off a number of bands, most of which I have listened to briefly, who are guilty of these qualities and the degradation of modern music in general:

The Decemberists
Broken Social Scene
Panic! At the Disco
Sufijan Stevens
The Shins
The Strokes
Belle and Sebastian
Modest Mouse
The New Pornographers
...and a number of others.

Please. Your insipid "folk inspired" (yes this phrase carries weight once again, apparently) soft-(not)rock, un-danceable, annoyingly dissonant chords and airy emasculated singing disgust me. The new Modest Mouse CD was not life changing - anyone who says so is a tool. Problem is, I'm suddenly in the minority here, because counterculture fringe music like this is gaining widespread status (why ever?). How can anyone like music that can't be rocked-out to?

...and the proponents of this music - the new "cool" crowd also claim roots among the marginalized, anti mainstream philosophy. Well, the hippies of the 60s were, contrary to popular belief, mainstream, and so are these kids. Other similarities include unwashed or just plain weird hair, overblown egos, and claims of liberalism which they have yet to demonstrate.

My prediction: One band will come to the forfront and become the new "spokesman" for this generation. A new Beatles, if you will. The war in Iraq will linger for a while, but finally a Democrat will be elected president and things will calm down. Finally, someone will reinvent Disco, all the burnt out bottom dwellers of society will condemn it as "lacking emotion" but they will have no leg to stand on because we don't like music for its deep social commentary, we like it for its musicality. If you want criticism, read a book. Listening to soft rock that clubs you over the head with thinly veiled political metaphors is for amateurs.

History is cyclical. Undoubtedly culture will experience ups and downs for decades to come. Do you think this influx of neo-hippie-ism is a result of the 60s-70s hippie generation's kids finally coming of age? It's a thought.

For the rest of us: tow the line, buy a responsible suit, get a job, and keep the cogs of capitalism operating while the children have their fun. Reap the profits from their merchandise and sales, watch them sell out, and chuckle inwardly that you heard it here first.

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