Unhealthy Loathing
Spoons Editorial
Posted by Spoonman on 06/25/04.

I have a job, which I don't care to disclose, except to say that it pays $9+ an hour, and I hate it more than anything in the world. I hate it like I imagine the Shiite Muslims hate the Suni Muslims. Who would hate a job that pays so reasonably, you ask? I do. I hate it. Many of you have accused me of having an overblown ego, and tonight I guess I have to make that concession, because without a doubt, I have never felt as if there were anything so completely beneath me on the face of the earth.

I am spending my summer doing labor of the lowest kind! Me! Who only a few weeks ago was the exalted! I was loved! Now I have nothing. Don't cry for me, Argentina. I am capable of doing my manager's job. There is no doubt in that. I am capable of doing my manager's manager's job. I can score above the 98th percentile on the GMAT. This literally is a repulsive waste of resources that makes me cringe every time I think about it.

I made a point to Brian this evening about how there are a few criteria in any job I may have that I will not abide by, and for my purposes I will reiterate them here: I don't want to deal with food, packaging, shelving, wrapping, cleaning, or largely, the public, though I would possibly make an exception. I definitely do not want to do a job that requires me to accomplish anything useful, like bringing goods to a location, or creating anything. I want a job that involves me writing or filling out paperwork, furthering the "red tape," managing others, or using a computer. Or possibly seeking adventure. Anything less will infuriate me. Now I thought I could tolerate this job because of the handsome paycheck and the accomodations that were made to keep me from working until midnight, (which in retrospect, would probably have compelled me to commit suicide) however, I have discovered, that even in the situation I am in currently, I am completely unhappy, spend every day in anger and the feeling that I've been cheated, sleep too late, exert myself too litte, and on top of this, my relationship with my parents has been completely destroyed because of my tendency towards pretentious bickering.

They, you see, insist that I hold a job this summer. I told them I am quite capable of making money by hussling poetry or essay entries to "Country Woman Magazine" (after all, what Kansas farm wife can contend with my editorializing skills?) My parents insist I need a "reference" or else I will not get work later on. This cannot be true. I think education speaks for itself. So far, I am in the sorry lot that I have missed about 3 parties, and there is little chance that I will be able to see my friends this summer. My parents had an answer for that too "You don't want to see them. You'll be leaving them in a few weeks anyway."

That is EXACTLY why I want to see everyone. If there is one quality I have, besides a few that are easy to name, it is loyalty, even to other people. I am on the shores of the sea of misery as I write this, thinking of how tomorrow I will only languish until I have to go back to that wretched establishment and have the hours of my day figuratively sodomized while I am mocked bitterly by my own thoughts, which I can never seem to shut off, even as I do the most menial and mindless of tasks. Every day I become more hateful towards everything around me. This is not healthy. I worry that I will be in no condition to start college in the fall. I won't have read any books, or have published my thesis, as I was intending. I think if I were capable of it I would sob, however this is out of the question because it would damage my beautiful skin. Speaking of sodomy, here is my ultimatum: I would rather become a homosexual than continue doing this job. Yes, I would give up my adoration for girls, if I ...well, perhaps that's a little strong, and I felt creepy writing it, but, I think I have effectively made the point. Until tomorrow, in the words of Jean Paul Sartre, "Au Revoir."

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Spoonman @ 06/25/04
"Once again, I have begun to worry that people will actually read these. Ahh what telltale signs."

Spoonman @ 06/25/04
"I also worry that my writing is getting bad."

Spoonman @ 06/25/04
"...And that makes me cringe."

Hauck @ 06/25/04
"your parents are right education takes a Huge back seat to expierence when it comes to highering, companies are not looking at you for what you know on paper they are looking for proven knowlage and reliability."

Hauck @ 06/25/04
"its not fair put take it from me i work with people who have masters and cant get a job in their field because they dont have any related expierence."

Hauck @ 06/25/04
"one more thing its not that its not a great thing that you graduated top of your class but outside of the acidemic world that means preicely Dick. unfortionately franklin its not education that gets you places its your persional skills and how well you can monipulate your coworkers and supervisers."

janedoe @ 06/25/04
"At least you HAVE a job. I'd probably do just about anything for one right now."

janedoe @ 06/25/04
"Although I can relate to the "I hate my job syndrome." I had a pretty sucky job last summer, too. I got through it by day dreaming and bringing some books I really liked to read during my break."

Hauck @ 06/25/04
"lol i read when i am working and i play frizbee and hackie sack on my brakes ... i have also taken up playing game boy when i am working lol tetris against my supervisor is fun, we played a game of monoply the other day "

Hauck @ 06/25/04
"my office has a good out look on stuff as long as you produce they prity much leave you alone."

Hauck @ 06/25/04
"also i am posting from work atm"

Riev_Mordred @ 06/25/04
"Franklin, man, it all depends on what you want to get for a job. There are plenty of companies that hire people straight out of college. You just need to find the right one. And don't worry about your writing getting bad. You're still better that almost every person I know when it comes to writing."

Riev_Mordred @ 06/25/04
"*looks up* For instance... "prity".... "brakes"... "monoply".... "Acidemic"... "monipulate" "

Hauck @ 06/25/04
"lol hey i never claimed to be an english major ) but i can sell sand to an arab"

irisangelapearl @ 06/25/04
" Hauck made a good point , " outside of the acidemic world that means preicely Dick." Other than that I say there are millions of people who are working below what they are truly qualified for so either get over it and continue making the money or quit and suffer the consciences from your parents."

Spoonman @ 06/25/04
"It would have been a better point if he'd said "precisely," and I would like to point out that Franklin Savings Bank does ask you for your class rank, and for that matter, Goldman Sachs asks you for your SAT scores. I like the word "Acidemic" though. Mmmm acid."

FreakBurrito @ 06/25/04
"ummmmmm if who said "percisely"?"

Riev_Mordred @ 06/25/04
"Brian, you failed quoting. Go back to school. Franklin ALSO has a point. WE ALL have a point here. Neither side is wrong, but neither is right. Certain businesses care about school, others don't."

selle @ 06/25/04
"hey franklin, when do you get out of work? maybe we could go and get late dinner sometime or something."

irisangelapearl @ 06/26/04
"lol selle is so hitting on franklin."

The Mexican @ 06/26/04
"you know what that means...its 12:00 and the party just dont stop"

selle @ 06/26/04
"well, i do have a thing for tall scrawny younger guys......"

DemonBika @ 06/29/04
"You are a little snot, Spoonman.Born with a silver spoon in your scrawny mouth and too good for the rest of us. You make me sick. Gee, you have to work. Gee, you get $9 an hour. Poor little boy."

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