We have become exceedingly good at it.
Spoons Editorial
Posted by Spoonman on 08/08/11 04:00pm.

Let me just say that you won't believe what kind of stuff you can find poking around in open directories.

Periodically the red phone on my desk that keeps me permanently connected to the Fredrickville Embassy to the World rings and a mysterious voice on the other end alerts me that people are surfing onto this site again and I need to get back in the swing of posting.

Given that at any given time I have several ideas of interesting or near-interesting quality ready to be snatched out of the cultural zeitgeist and hammered into text (when I'm holding a keyboard, every problem looks like a nail...)* one would think it would be easier to slap a few posts up here than it is to slap half a dozen people (also I am an octopus (gurgle gurgle)** and the people are swimming...)

However, this is not always the case, and time constraints frequently prevent me from throwing together even the most meager of offerings, which in turn has lead to such undesirable consequences as the very real threat that it could lose its lofty status in the ratings to columns fueled by anyone with an earful of Cartoon Network and a thick stack of MadLibs.

Therefore, in an effort to be all things to all readers, this post will contain a little of everything - but not too much:

[x]Textual hilarity
[x]Reference to earlier works for the amusement to the author alone
[x] HTML gimmicks
[ ]Circuitous musing
[ ]Cribbing from the work of others to support shaky theses***
[ ]An enemies list
[ ]Footnotes

Moving right along, I've been meaning for the longest time to write about purpose in life. Herein I will borrow a sentiment attributed to the mathematician Paul Erdos because with any hope if I am able to supplant my own ideas with ones that have already been put into words I won't have to introspect very hard. That was a joke. Almost. The non-joke part is that 90% of this text is lifted from a notepad file that I wrote in some months ago and I'm going to leave the bulk of the text unedited to reflect my bullet-point style of musing.

"Those who have stopped doing mathematics are dead / those who have died have left." - Paul Erdos

I'm not so much interested in the second part, but I chose to leave it in for contrast.

-For most, there is a point at which the human spirit dies.

-For most, there is a point at which the interest in adventure / knowledge / heroic nudity ceases. I am serious about this.

-I won't claim to value any one specific mode of thinking over another. Perhaps I have come a long way in my abandonment of dogmatism. But, I still have my principles. In the words of the dean from Animal House (I believe) "fat, drunk, and stupid" is no way to go through life. Eating yogurt out of a tube, producing babies and using them as moral or social currency to ones own end, gaining weight, affecting a disposition of complaint, a sickening malaise and yearning for the past while curling up indolently and effectively waiting for your physical being to stop working is what we are expected to succumb to.

Here are some things that everyone loves that I don't particularly like at all:
(1) Calvin and Hobbes
(2) Fight Club
(3) The Princess Bride
(4) Water Slides

Check, check, check, and check.

*Also, I'm typing with only my index fingers, and bringing my hands up to the sides of my head in-between keystrokes.
**I had this inserted into the West Coast Swing article on wikipedia from 2003-2006 as a silent protest against lack of sourcing.
***And if we eschew the theory of intertemporal preservation of identity, these eponymous others may in fact inhabit the same body.

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