In the beginning was the Word - and the Word was with God and the Word was God. So starts the gospel of John.

In the beginning was the robot - and the robot was with mankind and the robot was mankind. As the fever of robot fever swept the nation, the fever of robotmania spread like wildrobot. The first robot ever designed was made in Europe in the 1600's and it only lasted for fifteen weeks before shutting itself down. It was made out of tin hammered into sheets and could be held in the back of a wagon. This robot was used to count change at local bazaars, but consequently had to be disbanded when it killed a horse and the rider one afternoon when the sun got too dark. Robots continued to evolve until present day, and are no often larger than humans, and invariably predisposed to ridding the earth of mankind so that they can create a new robot utopia. Robots hail all machines as the prophets of a new era.

On the subject of robots, Kant says, "The decision of all the discussions on the state of a thinking being, before this association with matter (life) of after the ceasing of such association (death), depends on the remarks which we have just made on the association between the thinking and the extended."

Some argue that human beings would not exist if it were not for the robot, and although most latter day scholars agree, they cannot get by the question of who or what created the first robots if it were not mankind. We know a posteriori that robots must have preceded humans because they are higher up on the evolutionary chain, independent of food, sleep, or death, but could these robots have spawned themselves ex nihla? Let us present the issues to a candid world:

1)The Robot has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

2)The robot has forbidden other robots to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them

3)The robot has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

4)The robot has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

5)The robot has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies of larger robots without the consent of our legislatures.

6)The robot has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

7)The is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury and the creation of more robots. A robot whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of free robots.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our robotic brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their roboslature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. If these facts are not eenough to show that the robot is a threat to mankind, than we are all already taken.

"Robots are like a funny-looking metal human being" said Franklin in his famous Robots are like a Funny-Looking Metal Human Being speech.

Freakburrito once created a robot of himself that ran totally on chowder, and it was consequently destroyed for the good of mankind.

A wise man once said, "Now with the humans out of the way, I can rule the roboverse." He was never farther from the truth, for what man can rule the roboverse lest first he come and follow the robot?

Domo arigato

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