You now need to deliver the afterbirth.

Suicide Chickens And Lightsaber Wielding Octopi

Loosey Goosey the Enigmatic elf shot a deer one day. It turned out to be the Grandson of a god. This angered God mightily, so he did what would to any other individual who did something annoying. He destroyed the entire nation.

However, this was no ordinary elf. Loosey Goosey was secretly the overlord of the parallel dimension and suddenly, he reanimated himself like the time Neo rose back up from the dead through sheer willpower. Loosey was angry and somebody was going to pay, so he marched upstairs to the god's doorstep and dragged him by the ear to the crater that was once a nation and rubbed his nose in it and said "Bad god! Now, don't you do that again!"

The god never destroyed a nation in retribution again.

Posted on The Outhouse January 20th, 2012 | Comments

Three Epigrams by Schopenhauer

Read closely and see that (3) can be concluded from (1) and (2) according to a consequentialist/utilitarian moral calculus.

(1) Good vs. Evil

I know of no greater absurdity than that propounded by most systems of philosophy in declaring evil to be negative in its character. Evil is just what is positive; it makes its own existence felt. Leibnitz is particularly concerned to defend this absurdity and he seeks to strengthen his position by using a palpable and paltry sophism*

(2)Pleasure vs. Pain

The pleasure in this world, it has been said, outweighs the pain; or, at any rate, there is an even balance between the two. If the reader wishes to see shortly whether this statement is true, let him compare the respective feelings of two animals, one of which is engaged in eating the other.

(3) Antinatalism

If the act of procreation were neither the outcome of a desire nor accompanied by feelings of pleasure, but a matter to be decided on the basis of purely rational considerations, is it likely the human race would still exist? Would each of us not rather have felt so much pity for the coming generation as to prefer to spare it the burden of existence, or at least not wish to take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it in cold blood?

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) excerpts from 'Studies in Pessimism'

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*(Translator's Note cf. Théod: s153) Leibnitz argued that evil is a negative quality- ie, the absence of good; and that its active and seemingly positive character is an incidental and not an essential part of its nature. Cold, he said, is only the absence of the power of heat, and the active power of expansion in freezing water is an incidental and not an essential part of the nature of cold. The fact is that the power of expansion in freezing water is really an increase of repulsion amongst its molecules; and Schopenhauer is quite right in calling the whole argument a sophism.

Posted on Spoons Editorial October 15th, 2011 | Comments

Cyanogenmod 6.1.2 Droid

So I was having trouble getting the market installed 3.0.26 on CM6.1.2-Droid, It just wouldn't work. Then I remembered someone made a specific 6.1.2 ROM for the market. Get in touch with me if you want a solution.

I'm posting this so there's record on the internet that it exists.

Posted on Fredrickville.com September 16th, 2011 | Comments

We Get It! You! Space! We Get it! We All Get It!

There was once a group of 3 friends: a monkey, a rabbit, and a turtle. They found a delicious lollipop and knew they couldn't share it with one another, so they came up with a competition. Whoever could defeat the jaguar that was kinda eying them up first got the lollipop.

The monkey went first. It was an epic battle, the monkey was slinging poop and the jaguar was kinda close to getting him as the monkey was hopping around. Eventually the jaguar pinned the monkey, but just before the jaguar could defeat the monkey; the rabbit stormed in.

Apparently, while the monkey was fighting the jaguar, the rabbit invented a plate of armor made out of spider silk to defend itself. While the rabbit had plenty of defense capability, it's offense was still lacking and eventually, after being unable to defeat the jaguar, the rabbit got tired and was almost defeated by the jaguar. The turtle knew he had to win and stepped onto the battlefield.

The turtle, who has a natural defense mechanism, took the time to augment it while creating a taser. 2 seconds after he stepped into the ring, the taser was activated and with a loud crack, the jaguar fell unconscious and defeated. The entire forest celebrated and the turtle was totally famished and devoured that lollipop like a boss.

Posted on The Outhouse September 15th, 2011 | Comments